Thursday, February 25, 2010

The One Thing I've Learned...

The one thing I've learned through distance,
is that in order for the relationship to work,
both partners have to trust
Have to listen. 
And have to speak.  

Trust is the hardest of these three for me.
There's always that little, annoying voice wayyy back in my head that likes to think of every possible bad situation.
My heart knows the truth, but my head needs to be reminded.

Once you've been hurt, it's to not let that effect future, similar situations.
But I believe the situation is different now. I know it is.
And my heart knows it is. My head is still so skeptical.

With any relationship, you must listen.
Especially in a distance relationship.
This is so vital because you can't see the other person, so in order to understand what they're going through, you must listen to them trying to explain.  Don't push. That'll scare them away.
Be gentle, understanding, patient.
Listen closely, remember what they said, ask them questions about it.
Don't just rush into your story, show them you care. Listen to them first.

Believe it or not, I have almost as much trouble speaking as I do trusting.
As I've mentiond before, maybe it's the lack of "connection" because it's through a computer screen.
Maybe I'm afraid someone, other than him, is listening to me open up
Or maybe it's because I'm letting my past effect my future.
And that is WRONG.

The past is past, I need to move on. I need to fully trust again. I need to speak, telling him everything that is really is going on inside of me.

He can't listen when I don't speak, resulting in a lack of trust with both of us.

This is what I've learned, but this is what I'm still working on.
The battle isn't over yet.

4 Year Anniversary

That was us 4 years ago....
Today...we're still together :)

Maybe someday this distance will come to an end.
I love you <3

Happy 4 year anniversary, gabko =)

Monday, February 22, 2010


"Long distance relationsips are like wind to a fire; it puts out the small ones, but inflames the big ones"

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Am I the Only One?

I feel alone. And dissconnected.

Am I the only one who has such a hard time explaining what is really going on in my life through a computer screen?
I may be old fashioned, but I just feel so dissconnected from him, even when we're talking via Skype on webcam.

He asks me how I am...I reply good, then I ask him how he is.
He answers and we end up talking about his day...
But in fact, I lied when I said I was "good."
I'm not ok, but I feel like he doen't really want to know about that part.
So I answer "good" and move on before he can question me.
Inside though, I want him to ask again. I need him to.

Now, if we were in person, all he'd need to do is hold my hand or put his arm around me. He could ask me any question in the world and I'd tell him the most detailed answer. Because we would be together. In person. For real.

This online stuff.... I guess I just feel like someone's out there. Watching or listening. I don't know.
I just don't trust technology (even though this blog is on the web...).
Or maybe, it's that I don't feel safe around it.
It's just too impersonal.
I'm not reallllly talking with him....I'm talking to a screen full of lights =(

It's hard to convince my brain that he cares about me while he's so far away. If we were together in person, I'd know. All he'd have to do is hug me.
But through this distance, I feel seperated and alone.

My heart knows he cares...but my brain needs him to ask over and over agian..."how are you?"..."how are you really?"...."seriously, what's going on inside? that no one sees??"

I NEED him to ask those kinds of quetions.
It's like the repitition convinces my brain that he does care and really does want to know.
I need to convince my brain that he's not just asking to be polite.

He gets mad at me because he asks how I am and I reply, but he wants an honest answer the first time.
He says I'm not being honest.
I get mad because I can't tell him the first time, I don' feel comfortable yet.
I need to be convinced.

It's an ongoing, super annoying cycle....

Do I have a problem?
I don't know what to do.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Look Up

We may not be on the same continent, but we are under the same sky.

Look up.
I'm thinking of you. I love you.

"Whenever you feel a warm breeze brush against you, that's the kiss I blew to you."

Monday, February 15, 2010

Imagine You

I can't be with you right now,
so I imagine what it would be like if you were here.
What we'd do, where we'd go...

Then I count down the days again, until I'll see you next.
It helps.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Where ever you may be,
even across the sea,
i love you with all my heart.
athough we're still apart.

Sending my love from afar,
across the ocean to where you are.
i miss you dearly, my love.
so until we meet again,
consider this, your valentine's day hug.

-Sarah Brown

Thursday, February 11, 2010


 "Even though we can't be together (in the same place), I don't want to be with anyone else."

When you come to that realization, then you know you can do it.
Love isn't convenient. It's quite the opposite.

But true love that beats all odds....know that's something.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

I. Love. You.

Tell him/her you love them every single day.
In every way you can think of.
Be creative.
You can never say "I love you" enough.

It's so nice to be reminded.
Especially through distance.

Three words hold the power:

I. Love. You.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

The Letter

One of my New Year's resolutions this year was to write at least one letter a week to my boyfriend in Europe. 

It's now February, and I've already sent seven letters and one package :)

Keeps me mentally with him despite the distance.

Monday, February 8, 2010


When all you need is to hear his/her voice, calling is a great thing.
Although expensive.

I love Skype.
The free connection to anywhere in the world. 
It saved my distance relationship. Seriously.
However, sometimes Skype is more of a teaser than a helper.
On the nights that I realllllly miss him, Skype is rough.
I can hear him, and see him but can't touch him.

That's when I need a hug machine...oh, wait - there IS a hug shirt!

On the market soon, for $500-700.
Yea, in that case I think I'll stick with the Skype - the free way to comunicate.

Still, what else can you do?
Distance relationships usually revolve around phone call schedules.
Unfortunate, but true.
Although it's rough, communication IS what saves relationships.
Whatever it takes, communicate.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

The Start

Long distance relationships are a huge pain in the butt.
I mean, let's be honest - they are.

I've been in one for 4 years and it really gets harder every single day.
Of course, some days are better than others, but the majority of the time -
it sucks.

Of course there are both positives and negatives to distance relationships, but tonight...I'm really missing him.
So I'm a bit negative.

Feel free to vent, give advice and meet other individuals dealing with the same issues.

For the longest time, I thought (and felt) that I was alone in this.
But the more I look, the more I realize just how many other couples there are...
breaking the boundary of distance and proving that love, does after all, conquer all.