Truth is.

 It's been 10 months. 

Truth is, that's the longest I've ever been single. 

Until 3 weeks ago, 

truth is, I didn't know how to deal. 

It's funny how we can say something, 

but never actually believe it. 

Truth is, 

you really do have to learn how to be happy on your own

before truly being happy in a relationship. 

I'm twenty-three years old and I'm finally learning how to accept myself. 

Truth is, 

sometimes the hardest person to love is yourself. 

But the truth is, 

how can you allow someone to love you, 

if you don't love yourself?

Learn to love yourself. 

Learn to be happy on your own. 

Learn to accept yourself. 

Truth is, you're beautiful. 

You are loved. 

And you are worth it. 

 

Beyond This Moment... will be too late

Love does not envy...

Love does not boast..

Love keeps no record of wrong doing...

Love is forgiving.

Loves is patient.

Love is kind.

----------------------------------------

I love you. 

And I pray that never goes away.

Love will find a way. 

There is no time limit, no deadline.

It's always there, waiting to surprise us. 

You... you...

were a surprise. 

Such a lovely surprise,

at such a perfect time. 

I never believed in love at first sight...

I never thought someone could fit...

Goes to show, never say never. 

Because as soon as you do, 

God shakes His snow globe of a world 

and turns your plans upside down. 

Live life for today,

tomorrow will never come.

And love today, 

because tomorrow will be too late.

i was Born

I was born to laugh
I learned to laugh through my tears
I was born to love
I'm gonna learn to love without fear


Pour me a glass of wine
Talk deep into the night
Who knows what we'll find
Intuition, deja vu

The Holy Ghost haunting you
Whatever you got
I don't mind


Put your elbows on the table
I'll listen long as I am able
There's nowhere I'd rather be


Secret fears, the supernatural
Thank God for this new laughter
Thank God the joke's on me


We've seen the landfill rainbow
We've seen the junkyard of love
Baby it's no place for you and me


I was born to laugh
I learned to laugh through my tears
I was born to love
I'm gonna learn to love without fear

alone in Europe

Wow, were these past weeks a struggle.

I was in Germany with my family working at an English camp.

I didn't even decide to join them until 2 weeks before the camp.

Mainly because of the stupid, selfish reason that wasn't ready to go back.

They left before me, leaving me to travel by myself.

I'm a big girl and have been traveling alone for years.

But this year, I did not want to travel alone.

And return home alone.

To much down time to think...

and too many memories to remember.

I got back last night.

From Europe.

I was 7 hours away from him.

and didn't see him...

wow.

So close. So, so close.

The camp was amazing, don't get me wrong.

But satan tried his hardest to distract me the painful way.

I hate to say that I wasn't strong enough to fight him off...

Everything the entire week reminded me of him.

Everything.

It was so hard.

This was the first time in years that I explored new, foreign cities without him.

The first time I wasn't in Europe holding some one's hand.

.His hand.

And of course, while I was fighting my inner desire to jump on a train and rush to see him,

mutual friends posted pictures of him on Facebook.

Looking amazing, of course.

Surrounded by girls, of course.

When it hits, it hits hard. Duh.

Shoulda figured that would happen.

_______________

It's been 4 months and 1 day...

But it feels like yesterday.

Give it all to God, give it all to God, give it all to God....

God, please take it all away.

I'm so tired.

Tired

Why.The.Hell.Do.I.Miss.Him.So.Much.

I can't pull myself together tonight. 

I feel so alone. 

But why?!

I'm tired of this. 

A good day here, a bad night there. 

NO.

I wanna get off the see-saw, climb back up the ladder and finally slide down the slide into a refreshing pool.

_____________________________

They say for every year you dated, that's how many months it'll take to get over the relationship. 

I have a feeling it's going to take much more than four months to get over him. 

I still love him.

mixed emotions

How I Deal With Heartbreak?

Can I switch it up a little?
the distance is over... but the heart is now broken.
I've dealt with distance, but how do i deal with heartbreak?

Does he think of me?

as much as i think of him....

How could he move on so quickly?
i sure haven't...

  Does he miss me?
       at all...

 

Why is it so much harder than i thought it would be?

my heart just isn't this strong...

Why can't I cry?

when i want to...

"Leave me paralyzed, love...

leave me hypnotized, love..."

leave me.